The principal punishes her daughter for hitting a classmate but the mother's response makes him feel ashamed
Anyone who is a parent knows how much fear can be provoked by a phone call from their child's school when the parent is at work!
Naturally, parents start to think of the worst scenario, they fear for the safety of their child, while at the same time they fear that their child could be the one who is responsible for a violent act.
In this state of mind, the woman, who shared this story on a website, reached her daughter's school, after being contacted directly by a teacher who urged her to join her as soon as possible.
Here's what happened and why this story can be a lesson for many others.
While I was at work, I received a phone call from my daughter's school.
Teacher: "Good morning Mrs. [My Name]. Your daughter has had a fight at school, if you can, I ask you to come to the school immediately."
Me: "I'm working, my shift ends in two hours. Can you wait?"
Teacher: "It's a pretty serious matter, your daughter had a fight and hit a classmate. It would be better if you came right away."
(Of course, I ran to school and in the principal's office, I found my daughter, the head of the section, her teacher, the principal, a boy with a bloody nose and a flushed red face and his parents.)
Principal: "Madam, finally, it's a pleasure to see you."
Me: "Yes, I was very busy at the hospital, sorry."
(Finally, I was told what had happened. Evidently, the boy had started playing with my daughter's bra, and she, annoyed, had turned around and punched him in the face two times. From the beginning, I had the impression that they were angrier with my daughter than with the boy. Knowing that my daughter, is certainly not a girl who is quick with her fists, I had a very clear vision of the situation. However, the story about what had happened and the reaction of the teachers made me nervous.)
Me: "So you want to know if I'm going to denounce the boy for sexual assault or denounce the school for allowing such a thing to happen?"
(They all get jittery when I mentioned "sexual assault" and start speaking all at once.)
Teacher: “I don’t think it was that serious.”
Section Head: “Let’s not over-react.”
Principal: “I think you’re missing the point.”
(The boy's mother started crying, so I gave my daughter a questioning look and she started talking.)
Daughter: "He kept snapping my bra. I asked him to stop it, but he didn't stop. So, I pointed this out to the teacher who told me to "ignore it". He did it again and then I hit him. Only then did he stop."
(I turned to the teacher in question.)
Me: "You let him do this? Why didn’t you stop him? Come over here and let me touch the front of your trousers.”
Teacher: "What?! No!”
Me: “Does that seem inappropriate to you? Why don’t you go and pull on Mrs. [Section Head]’s bra right now? See how much fun it is for her. Or on that boy’s mother's bra. Or mine. You think just because they’re kids it’s fun?”
Principal: “Mrs. [My Name]. With all due respect, [Daughter] still hit another child.”
Me: "No, she defended herself from sexual assault from another student. Look at him --- he is six feet tall (1.80 meters) and weighs 165 lb (75 kg) and she is five feet tall (1.50 meters) and weighs 94 lb (43 kg). He’s a foot taller than her and twice as heavy. How many times should she have let him touch her? If the person who was supposed to help and protect her in the classroom couldn’t be bothered what should she have done? He snapped her bra so hard it came undone.”
(The boy’s mother is still crying and his dad looks both angry and embarrassed. The teacher won’t make eye contact with me. I look at the principal.)
Me: “I’m taking her home. I think the boy has learned his lesson. And I hope nothing like this ever happens again, not only to [Daughter], but to any other girl at this school. You wouldn’t let him do it to a member of the staff so what makes you think he can do it to a girl of 15 is beyond me. I will be reporting this to the governors. And if you—” *turning to the boy* “— EVER touch my daughter again I WILL have you arrested for sexual assault. Do you understand me?”
(I was so angry, I gathered my daughter’s things and left. I reported it to the Board of Governors, several of whom I know from church (it’s a Catholic school), and was assured it would be strongly dealt with. I also reported it to OFSTED (Government-run school monitoring) and they were equally as horrified and assured me they would contact the school. My daughter was put into a different class for that subject, away from that teacher, and the boy.)
What do you think of this story? Do you think that the mother's response was adequate and justified or that, in any case, her daughter was wrong?
