A woman asks for help after the death of a friend and the response of an elderly man left everyone moved
The circumstances in which a loved one passes away can affect the way we adapt to their absence. Accepting their death and not letting it stop us from fully enjoying our existence is one of the most difficult things that life asks us to do.
Moreover, there are losses that are inevitably more painful than others, those that even after a long time, when we seemed to have regained stability, strike us again with unexpected coldness, causing us to break down once again and making us want to ask "why?" even to a passerby, a stranger ...
A woman did something similar but instead of addressing a passer-by, she asked a question on the Internet and one of the answers caught everyone's attention ...
This woman mourned the passing of a dear friend and, in despair, she turned to the online community that she usually uses simply saying: "My friend is gone and I really do not know what to do".
An answer, among others, came from a man who was no longer young, who was able to formulate a thought that was admired by all readers ...
"So here we are ... I'm old and this means that while I'm still here, many of the people I have loved are gone.
I have lost friends, acquaintances, work colleagues, close and distant relatives, teachers, neighbors, mentors and many other people. I have no children and for this reason, I cannot imagine what it means to see a child die. Despite this, here's what I have to say ...
I'd like to be able to say that in the end, you get used to it. I've never succeeded and I'm happy with this. Every time someone dear to me as has passed away, I have felt something tear within myself, regardless of the circumstances. But I do not want this pain to become something to forget, something I hope will soon pass. My scars are a testament to the love that I have for the relationships that I have had with people and if a scar is deep it is because that relationship was profound, so I cherish with gratitude that pain.
The signs that pain leaves in us are the legacy of life, the proof of the fact that we can love deeply, find ourselves wounded, excruciated by pain, and yet able to heal and to love again.
In time, it is understood that pain is like waves: when the boat of our heart is lost for the first time, we feel drowned surrounded by the remains of our own being. Everything that floats around reminds us of the beauty and magnificence that characterized our boat, while now all you can do is try to stay afloat. Sometimes you find some piece of the wreck and you cling to it: sometimes an object, sometimes a memory, or maybe a person who, just like you, swims in that despair.
In the beginning, the waves of pain are very high and they pound on you without mercy. They follow one after the other, without giving you any respite. They arrive every 10 seconds and in this interval, you feel like you cannot even breathe. All you can do is try to stay afloat. After a while, and it can take weeks, months ... you will realize that the waves are still very high, but what changes is the frequency with which the waves hit you. They are still violent and powerful and you run the risk of drowning, but the time between one wave of pain and the other slowly increases and you can go back to breathing. There is life between waves.
Until one day, to your surprise, you will realize that the 50-foot waves (15 m), those waves of pain have gone down to 30 feet (10 m) or 15 feet (5 m). Waves of pain keep looking for you but you have learned to see them coming from afar --- an anniversary, a birthday, a party ... You can see the painful waves coming and you have the possibility to prepare yourself so that when they hit you, you'll be able to concentrate on the fact that you will re-emerge anyway. Drenched, upset, and still looking for a foothold, but you'll manage to come out of it.
Listen to the words of an old man --- the waves never cease, and somehow you do not really want them to. You will simply learn that you can survive. Other waves will come, and you will survive those too. If you are lucky, one day you will find yourself covered by many scars and surrounded by flotsam and only then will you understand that you have loved very much, and very intensely.
