Nothing is the same anymore when a parent passes away ...
Almost for everyone, our parents are the ones who have always been in our lives, and we would like them to be with us forever.
Unfortunately, the day comes when one has to deal with their loss, due in the most fortunate cases to the natural course of life, or in those less fortunate, due to a dramatic event.
One is never really prepared to let go of one's father or mother. What changes, is only the way in which their death is dealt with, based on emotional maturity which is different in adults, adolescents, and children.
via PMC
Mourning experienced as an adult
Having to say goodbye to a parent when you are an adult is no less painful than when you are a child, but it is a natural and unfortunately, inevitable situation.
Emotions and feelings like sadness and anger invade the mind at the most unexpected moments and one finds oneself impotent and thinking of things that were never said.
The sense of guilt is generated by the feeling of having left something unfinished and unresolved and repenting of not having been more affectionate or of not having been more present.
We suddenly feel older, closer to death, and without our roots.
Mourning as experienced in adolescence and childhood
Before full maturity, it is not even remotely conceivable that one's parents could disappear at any moment. Mom and dad are invincible figures, immortal, people, who will never leave us. In these age groups, the resources and mental structures necessary to metabolize such an event are not yet available. However, a child and an adolescent are able to understand the concept of death if they are helped and supported.
One of the most frequent involuntary errors is to tell the child or adolescent to be strong and to support the remaining parent. This forces them to suppress their real emotions and prevents them from experiencing grief and loss in a natural way.
With a child, the basic elements are sincerity and clarity. No matter how cruel it may seem, one must be honest and reiterate the fact that the deceased person will never return. In order not to make them believe that they are responsible for their parent's death in any way, it is essential to guarantee security, understanding, and affection, pushing away any specter of loneliness.
Probably there will never be enough comforting words to make one accept the death of a parent whether it happens as a natural consequence after a long illness or if you have already experienced similar episodes with other people, still you can never find the force to accept it.
However, one can survive, by immediately taking care that the vacuum caused by one's loss does not spread uncontrollably. But inside, there will always be a sense of loss which one will simply have to get used to living with.
