I'm strong, but I also feel extremely tired
What does it mean to be strong? It means to still believe in love, even though people have broken your heart; and you are alone and wiping away tears that no one even suspects you have shed.
You are strong when you overcome your faults and you conquer your own demons; when you help and trust those who do not deserve it --- forgiving them again and again.
It is the force that makes you bite your tongue when someone takes out their frustrations on you, and it keeps you from responding in kind even though you know you do not deserve it. It means believing in yourself when no one else does.
Yet, the truth is that this force - that sucks energy from every fiber of your body - both agitates and exhausts you.
You are strong, yes, but this is also the reason you are so tired.
Tired of being hurt every time you believe in something or someone; tired of fearing the worst, and seeing it happen; and, tired of being disappointed.
You are tired of those who tell you that you have to change, but in doing so you would lose yourself --- and while trying to make others happy, you do not even know who you are anymore.
Thinking too much about people who pay very little or no attention to you, leaves you exhausted, every single time. What is actually tiring you out are your constant attempts to please others, while in reality, you do not ask for much in return.
You are tired of spending 15 minutes writing a nice thoughtful note to someone, and then receiving only, "OK" as their reply. Tired of staying awake at night, consumed by thoughts that make sleep impossible. And yes, always blaming yourself drains away all your life energy.
You are tired of being repeatedly put to the test, even though you have come out victorious every time. Tired of carrying on your shoulders the weight of a past that does not want to stop persecuting you, and that will not leave you in peace.
You are tired of being strong for everyone else and of waiting for explanations and excuses that either never come - or are never in time.
The truth is that you cannot escape this force, and you also cannot avoid the resulting fatigue. Nevertheless, you will never stop giving love or helping and listening to others, despite all the pain, and disappointments.
But this is exactly what makes you great: you are a "healer" of the world, a bearer of light in the darkness, and you will continue on your journey of hope, always holding your head high.
