8 common phrases manipulative people might say to keep us under their thumbs
There are people who, like vampires, suck away our life energy, putting our physical and mental health at risk, and they couldn't care less about it because they only take care of themselves.
They are called manipulators, which is a broad category that includes narcissists, sociopaths, and psychopaths, all sharing a common goal: to establish and reinforce their control over the people around them - namely, their victims.
To this end, they resort to psychological/emotional manipulation, understood as the exercise of undue influence through mental distortion and emotional exploitation, with the intention of obtaining power, control, and benefits at the expense of the victim.
Therefore, they use a type of communication that consists of standard phrases, which are often repeated. Let's see what they are, and how to counteract them.
Phrases frequently used by manipulators
- 1. "YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND". The manipulator tries to confuse and evade their responsibilities, and this also means nullifying the victim's attempts to rationalize their actions and facts by claiming they do not understand.
- 2. "YOU BEING DRAMATIC". Drama is the source of the manipulator's power, but they will never admit it; on the contrary, they attribute to the victim the responsibility of having exaggerated and created drama out of something that was a normal situation.
- 3. "YOU ARE BECOMING PARANOID". Attributing paranoid behavior to the victim serves as a way for the manipulator to deceive and confuse the victim about the truth, or the manipulator's faults.
- 4. "I DON'T WANT TO ARGUE". The manipulator does not really care whether they argue or not. They will distort the facts, anyway.
- 5. "YOU ARE TOO SENSITIVE". In fact, you might be sensitive to a manipulator, who by definition lacks empathy entirely, and you are right to feel this way.
- 6. "YOU ARE THINKING TOO MUCH". In this case, the manipulator is afraid that, upon longer reflection, you will arrive at the truth, which for them is deadly.
- 7. "YOU ALWAYS DO THIS!". In this way, the manipulator is saying that you are hindering their plans, or that you are calling attention - and rightly so - to their faults.
- 8. "I NEVER SAID THAT". Manipulators lie; therefore, it is inevitable that even when they are confronted with the evidence of the consequences of their actions, they still continue to deny it.
Advice about how to get rid of manipulators
- 1. Appreciate and cultivate your self-esteem. You are the person with whom you will live forever: treat yourself well.
- 2. Do not feel obligated to give explanations. Manipulators are toxic people who do not deserve any clarifications.
- 3. If you do not have a purpose in life, create one. Identify a goal, focus and aim straight for it because, in the eyes of a manipulator, no one is more frustrating than a confident person.
- 4. Ignore them. Do not listen to their plans, their promises or whatever stories a manipulator narrates: it's just a waste of time that is very harmful to you.
- 5. Do not rationalize their behavior.
- 6. Find their weak point and use it against them. Use their insecurities to attack them.
- 7. Learn to say no. Do not give in to the requests of manipulators.
- 8. Being alone is not so bad. Spending some time on your own, helps you find yourself and to become stronger and more confident.
- 9. Do not worry about what others think.
- 10. Do not be afraid to ask for help. If you feel threatened or abused, contact someone who can help you.
https://www.businessinsider.com/phrases-you-need-to-know-if-you-think-youre-being-manipulated
