I am a "bad" mother who says "No" a lot, establishes rules, and demands help with the household chores!
How many times, looking back at the way we were raised by our parents, have we promised ourselves not to behave in the same way with our own children?
In fact, most frequently, those who grew up with strict parents who were not very compliant in regards to their children's needs, especially try to distance themselves as much as possible from the parental example they had.
Many people have heard and had to accept rules and impositions, "duties and chores" to be respected, and that "one day you will understand ... But have we, even as adults, really understood the importance of respecting rules?
A child is not just a child, they are also the sum of the many attitudes that they absorb daily, they are the little adult within themselves that they will one day become.
Compared to when we were children, today more and more often we talk about education using soft discipline or almost none at all, based on the consideration that children are actually "small" people.
Sometimes, parents allow their child to conduct a "free-wheeling" existence and this type of attitude leads to raising a child and educating them with a real and substantial lack of rules.
Yet, for both parents and children, establishing fixed points is equally important, in the same way as being empathetic.
Does the choice of establishing rules really define whether one is a good mother or a bad mother? Can you define someone a bad mother just because she imposes rules, or because she makes her children responsible for household chores appropriate for their age, or because she imposes a timetable for bedtime or a ban on eating candy and chocolate in large quantities?
Is a mom bad if she takes her children to soccer practice or dance class, even if they say no because they just decide that day they do not feel like going, or if she urges them to always finish studying and doing their homework before they can play?
So many times parents present a thousand excuses for not making definitive decisions, for not teaching their children to become more self-sufficient, and not teaching them to take responsibility for their own actions.
Finish what they have started, take proper care of their games or tidy up their bedroom, take small amounts of responsibility based on their age, this is what it means to direct children towards true growth and autonomy.
The world we live in pushes us more and more towards the search for success and perfection, it is, therefore, important to teach children to respect rules even at the cost of perhaps failing. Especially, since failing helps one to learn from one's mistakes in order to improve.
It is not by wrapping children in cotton wool or living under a bubble that we can protect them and make them better adults. Failure generates maturity and projects the child towards the possible difficulties of adulthood.
Bad mothers do not exist, because they are actually good mothers who try to define boundaries and provide their children with fixed points. This is because these mothers know that rules are important, and they help to raise their children to be mature and autonomous adults.
