"I will help with the housework when you pay half the mortgage": the harsh words to a working wife
Staying in, and maintaining a stable relationship is not easy: accepting to stay in one for life, after getting married is, perhaps, even less so. These are important choices that involve a close look to the future. No one has a crystal ball to see the future, and that means that there will always be a degree of risk attached to every important choice made. The woman who is the subject of this story, unfortunately, had not yet discovered some unpleasant characteristics of her husband's personality - negative traits which only came to light after their wedding day. After asking her husband for a little help with the housework, the woman received a far-from-loving reply from her husband: "I will help with the housework when you pay half the mortgage." The woman turned to the Reddit community anonymously to get a second opinion and this time, the users did not mince their words: "Run!", they all chorused.
via Reddit
Unfortunately, it was not just this single outburst that called the relationship between the husband and wife into question, but the entire context that the woman related in her story. Many users reported that they were unable to finish the last paragraph of the story due to how much anger they felt; in fact, hearing the story of this woman, it seems that the only thing to do would be to get away from this toxic and harmful relationship. But let's start from the beginning: the wife is 25 and he is 31, and they are recently married. The husband wanted the wife to stay at home, given that his job would be sufficient to pay for all their expenses. She explained: "If I wanted to work, I could use my money for my expenses. Before I got married I worked, but with having to plan the wedding (which I did on my own and without his help) and working 70 hours a week, it all became too much, and so I quit my job."
Another important factor was mentioned by the woman: her mother-in-law lives in the couple's house for 6-10 months a year, meddling in every important decision. Indeed, to be frank, it seems that the choices relating to the wife's house are taken by her mother-in-law and her son - who turned out to be a real "mama's boy" after the wedding - and without consulting the young bride. The wife stated that she is the one who takes care of everything at home - from the housework to preparing dinner and lunches - but it is always the mother-in-law who takes credit for everything. This situation was so pervasive, that her husband believed that his wife was doing nothing, and was simply taking advantage of the arrangement at home. Her husband and mother-in-law therefore pushed her to go back work in order for her to earn enough to gain a bit of independence - and all without neglecting the housework.So what is the problem in her asking her husband for a little help at home? And, unlike her, her husband is smartworking from their home, but who at the end of the day, claims to be always too tired to be able help with the dishes.
Furthermore, the relationship between the two started deteriorating just after the wedding: "Before we got married, we went out, we had romantic evenings, but now if I even ask him for a coffee, he refuses. If I ask him if we can go out for dinner, he says no. But when his middle-aged sisters ask him, he accepts immediately, paying for them and their families". In her story, there is always a version told of the husband "before marriage" - a clear sign that she had not noticed the more unpleasant, hidden sides of her husband. "Before we got married, he told me he was going to pay me a monthly allowance to cover all the household expenses. But after we got married, he said he" didn't have much money "and so he couldn't pay" explained the wife, and stressing that her husband, on the contrary, actually had no financial problems at all.
"I do all the housework, I cook, I buy things for the house (furniture, decorations and other necessary things because my mother-in-law didn't allow me to when she was here). I also paid for 2 mini-vacations we took as he claims that he has already paid enough for the honeymoon. I earn less than 1/3 of what he earns " she continued and is now seeking support and advice from Reddit users. In short, the husband continues to insist that she start paying for part of the mortgage: "He keeps asking me to pay half the mortgage since I live here for free and have a paying job". Many users have pointed out that the husband simply pointing out to her that she lives for free at home would be a sufficient reason to leave him and get a lawyer. In short, no one actually has many doubts about how this story should end: for her own sake, the young bride has to get away from this toxic situation. Do you agree with this, or do you have another opinion about it? Let us know!
