Deaf daughter issues ultimatum to her parents: "Either learn sign language or I won't visit you anymore"
Living under the same roof with your family is never easy for an adolescent child or one who has recently reached the age of majority. In this period of development - fundamental to a child's life - the need and desire for independence and freedom are stronger than anything else, and perhaps it may appear that the advice and orders of a parent can resonate like cruel, dictatorial laws to adolescents. In short, at a certain age, children start having more conflicts with mum and dad than having calm and peaceful discussions with them.
via AITA/Reddit
This is one thing that the girl, starring in this incredible and somewhat bizarre family story, knows very well. On Reddit, she told users that at the age of 18 she was the victim in a serious accident that left her deaf, and thereafter, she tried to get her parents to learn American Sign Language, but without any success. In the end, the girl decided to impose an ultimatum on her mom and dad: either they would learn sign language or she would never visit them again during the holidays: "When I was 18, I had an accident that gave me a cranial trauma and it caused me to lose most of my hearing in both ears, essentially making me deaf. I was not eligible for cochlear implants, so being deaf was my new reality. Obviously this derailed my life for a while. A university rejected me and I have been depressed for a long time. I eventually discovered the deaf community, I learned ASL (American Sign Language) and now at age 26, I feel very satisfied with my life.
My parents were devastated by my accident and our relationship was never the same. A few years ago I told them that I had accepted being deaf and I asked them if they would learn ASL, because now this is how I prefer to communicate. They said "no" at the time because they didn't have time to learn a new language. I have tried several times over the years to try to give them information on deafness and ASL, but they have shown no interest. "
But of course, the story doesn't end there: "We now mostly communicate using the dedicated feature on our phones, which is far from perfect and very chaotic when multiple people are talking. Trying to keep up with conversations is exhausting and people are constantly frustrated with me for not being able to follow them while I communicate. We often watch movies, but they refuse to activate the subtitles because it is "annoying" - even though it means that I cannot understand the movie.
Last Christmas, before I went home, I sat my parents down and told them that if they didn't start learning ASL, I wouldn't see them again. I told them I don't expect them to speak ASL fluently, but I needed them to show a commitment to learning. I told them that they have continually rejected my needs as a deaf person and that if they want to continue to have a meaningful relationship with me, we need to have some sort of shared language.
It didn't go well at all, as my parents accused me of wanting to cut them out of my life - which is not true. I cannot continue to visit them if my presence is a burden to them. What can I do? I'm asking for your help and advice! "
What do you think of this girl's ultimatum to her parents? Was she right to be so hard on them?
