Father refuses to accompany his biological daughter down the aisle, but says yes to his adoptive daughter's identical request
A 49-year-old man wondered if he was doing the right thing when both of his two daughters asked him to accompany them down the aisle, and he decided to refuse one of the requests. He himself told detailed his story on Reddit, receiving a very harsh response from followers about it. The man explained that he has two daughters: the eldest, born from his first marriage and a second daughter, adopted after getting married to his current wife. While loving both of them, his youngest daughter is the one he has always lived with and was the first to ask him to accompany her down the aisle. When the elder daughter informed him that she was also getting married and that she also wanted her father to accompany her down the aisle, the father was surprised and replied that she "should have thought about it earlier". In short, you can imagine how devastated the eldest daughter was by this totally unexpected response.
via Reddit
Flickr / Corey Seeman / Not the actual photo
Marriage is an important step and, as per tradition, the father of the bride is the one who accompanies his daughter down the aisle. When the father’s 23-year-old daughter, Julie, told him that she was getting married to her boyfriend and that she really wanted him to accompany her to the altar, the man didn't hesitate for a second. Although she was not his biological daughter, Julie was only 2 years old when the man married her mother, his current wife. And, since Julie's biological father was absent from his daughter's life, he decided to adopt her. The man constantly states in his story that he loves both daughters equally, but when his eldest, Marie, also asked him to accompany her down the aisle, he claims he was baffled. But it is difficult to imagine any father giving a negative response to such a request.
It is certainly true that Julie is more attached to her father, as she has always lived in the house with him. Marie, however, has always been more attached to her mother, who had gained custody of her when her parents divorced. But one’s father is always one’s father, correct? Given this, Marie didn't think twice about asking him to be present at her wedding.
"A couple of weeks ago, Marie asked me to have coffee with her and told me she was pregnant and she's getting married soon. To be honest, this caught me off guard as I didn't even know she had a boyfriend. She says that she will have a quiet, short wedding and soon, since she does not want to spend too much. This means that her wedding will be in 3 months’ time. She says it will be a small ceremony and she asked me to accompany her to the altar," said the father.
"I felt weird because I don't even know her boyfriend and this was all so sudden. Given this, I asked her to let me think about it. It seemed that this answer surprised her, but she said she understood. Then I went home and spoke to my wife and other daughter about Marie's request. Julie asked me to politely refuse, as she wanted to be the first to be accompanied down the aisle by me, since she asked first (Marie’s quickly-scheduled wedding would now happen before Julie’s). I mean, I think I made a stronger commitment towards Julie," the father continued to explain.
After mulling the issue over, this father sent his daughter, Marie a message turning down her offer to have him accompany her to the altar, along with a brief explanation emphasizing that he would always be there for her. The young woman, of course, immediately called him in tears and accused him of being a horrible father for refusing such a thing. The only supporters of his decision were his current wife and his adopted daughter, who had requested the exclusivity of the presence of this father at the youngest’s wedding.
The man felt very guilty after this happened and asked for advice from Reddit followers – followers who tried to make him see the error of his ways in their comments. In fact, no one supported the reasons this father and his adopted daughter gave, and everyone reiterated how horrible and mean his behavior had been towards his eldest daughter.
How do you think he should have acted?
