Man's wife had a stroke and is now disabled: "This was not the life I chose"
"I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honour you all the days of my life.": this is the wording of the oath that those getting married in the Catholic church declare to each other. But not everyone manages to live up to the promises made in this oath. Being supportive partners in situations of calm and stability doesn't take much effort, since mutual love holds the two people together; the real litmus test is if we will remain united when times are tough. Choosing someone for life means choosing them "in sickness and health, for good or bad", and not only when it is convenient to do so. What is certain, however, is that every situation is different and that one is also technically and legally free to withdraw from one's sworn promises.
via Slate.com
A man decided to ask for advice in an online forum because he was saddened by his family situation, following a major misfortune. The man is 40 years old and before he met his "soul mate" he was a single dad. One day, a meeting with a woman literally changed his life: have you ever experienced meeting someone with whom there is an immediate connection, with whom you feel you have known them for a lifetime? "I had never believed in soul mates," the man wrote, "but she made me believe in it. We completed each other's sentences and felt the kind of love I had never felt for anyone before. After six months, we had bought a house together, we started our family and I asked her to marry me. "
Unfortunately, however, the dream period lasted relatively shortly, as after only a year of marriage, the woman suddenly had a stroke that severely compromised her vital functions. The man is now desperate because he can no longer bear this painful situation, but he is also aware that he will cause more pain by walking away and abandoning his partner.
The man described the situation as follows: "She has lost all functions on one side of her body, has lost her speech and is disabled. She will probably never go back to work nor return to the life she once had. Now she can walk a little and has regained a little speech, but it's a limited thing. Her one arm still has no function. All of this has created a future I hadn't foreseen and don't want. Each day has become a reminder of what once was, and her presence is a constant reminder of our shared pain. I have been striving for at least a year - which is exactly how long I knew her before her stroke - to help her regain as normal a life as possible. But I can't imagine spending the rest of my life like this. I know she will be devastated if I leave, but I will be destroyed if I stay. Also, I don't think it's fair to my son. This is a tragedy, whatever choice I make. I welcome your suggestions and advice".
What advice do you have for this man?
